Sunday, November 25, 2007

Identity Crisis

Everyone says that studying abroad changes you. I'm right now realizing just how much.

I was wasting away my cloudy Sunday online, clicking through some friends' pictures on Facebook when I realized just how far behind I am. The problem is, it's not just news I've missed; I'm not really sure if I know a good stack of my friends any more. I've changed a lot in these months, and the people back home have surely changed as well, so how does that change how we relate to each other? I'm excited to get back to the people and things I've missed so much (things like debate... I'm not that materialistic), but I'm terrified of how I'll find them, not to mention how they'll find me.

I'm overall pleased with my progress this semester. I think I've grown a lot, and learned a lot about myself. Yet, I can't be more specific about what that really means, as I haven't seen these changes manifested in a context where they're highlighted. I guess all I can do is wait and see: two weeks from tomorrow, I'll be headed home.

6 comments:

girlalex said...

Unfortunately, change is one of the things that comes with 'growth'. We'd like to think we can become a better, deeper, and more honest person while still clinging onto our past habits. Usually, it's those habits that are the most detrimental to the new growth, and embracing them upon return quickly creates a 'two steps forward, two steps back' tango. Good luck.

alli's in wonderland said...

i have that same fear...

but i like to think that we are going home changed for the better and while it might take a bit to figure out exactly where our changed selves fits in it will all work out.

Anonymous said...

I miss chatting with you! Sometimes I go online, hoping you'll be around so we can catch up. I honestly can't wait to see you and how you've changed when you return!

T-Mac said...

Your friends will still love you, no worries. Also, debate is debate--you'll be great! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

The key is to be gentle with yourself. (and Patient)

Elizabeth said...

for me, i think it wasn't so much that i changed, but that i gained a stronger understanding of myself.

i think i know what you mean, though. i remember the first phone call shannon and i had when we got back from being abroad and being so scared we wouldn't connect the same way as when we were at willamette. we did and it was great, but before that i was really nervous.